Introduction
The family planned a party for Lil’s
ninety-seventh birthday. Tomorrow all of the children would gather to
celebrate her birthday. They were
coming to her son's home in Massachusetts to spend time with her. Each birthday
was so special now and so important.
Alexandria was coming from Atlanta; Julienne was in Los Angeles, Lucy, Charles
and Steven were all in Massachusetts.
Lucy came in the room to check her mother before she went to bed for the night. Lil was resting
peacefully.
Alexandria and Julienne would be arriving
early tomorrow morning. Lucy had planned
everything with the help of her brothers. Lil was vibrant full of energy. She had promised that she would be sitting at the dinner table tomorrow for the birthday
celebration. Lil was certainly one person who gave new meaning to the phrase you are as young as you feel .
When the doorbell rang Lucy jumped. It had been a year since, she had seen her
sisters. She was so glad that it was a
happy occasion and not a funeral or hospital emergency. Steven the youngest
brother was coming in from a meeting.
Steven read Musllim newspapers
and literature. He himself had
not converted to Islam and had not become a political activist.
The next morning the family began to arrive.
"It's so good to see you. Come in !
Where is Katie. Why didn't she come?"Lucy asked.
Julienne's, youngest daughter, Katie was
expected to come with her mother and aunt; however, she had not. She
had decided to stay at home and participate in a protest with some of her
friends. Everyone, was concerned and hoped it would remain non violent. Today,
you could not turn the television on
without seeing a protest.
"Julienne, I need to get up now. I
have to get ready". Ma said. Lil
was ready to eat her breakfast and get dressed
for her party. Everyone greeted her.
"Happy
birthday, Mama!” Charles ran over to
give her a hug.
“Charles you need to say a blessing to
thank the Lord for the blessings we have received .” Lil paused to give Charles time to pray.
“ How
do you feel,” Charles asked. “Mama are you okay."
The status of African Americans had
evolved many times during Lil’s lifetime.
Through the experiences of her children and grandchildren she had experienced
even more historic landmarks : the end
of slavery; reconstruction; segregation and the Civil Rights Movement. Lil’s children and grandchildren had joined
in the fight for equal rights and equal opportunities for all Americans. Many of Lil’s children children and
grandchildren had attended college.
Lil’s parents had been considered nothing more than property by their
owners. Her children and grandchildren
were fighting for self respect, dignity and opportunity. The phone rang.
Steven picked the phone up. " What ?
Yes. Nathaniel is my son. No, he was on
his
way to my home in Boston to
celebrate his grandmother’s birthday. Yes,
he is in school in Florida.
Why is he in jail?”
When Steven hung up the phone, he was
obviously shaken. He told Charles that
they had to leave for South Georgia now. Nathaniel was in trouble and he would
explain.
Steven and Charles left the party. They
called one of their good friends who was an attorney and
headed to the airport. Charles was the oldest son and he had not
been south in many years. His family
left the south when he was very young. Even when his son decided to attend
school in Florida, he
did not accompany him . So, this
brought up powerful emotions in him. He
had told Nathaniel many
times not to participate in any
civil rights activities in Florida, or
anywhere in the South. It
was dangerous and he believed in self
defense. He did not have the
temperament to allow someone to hit him and beat him. In his opinion, Blacks would benefit from jobs, businesses, and
redevelopment help of their
neighborhoods. How did violence or nonviolence bring equality about?
When they reached the jail it was night. They
finally reached a small town in southern Georgia that he had never heard of. It was a town with back roads, no light. The type of place he would never drive through
except in an emergency.
Why was Nathaniel here? "Where is my
son?” Charles asked.
"Sir, there was an accident ." The officer answered.
"An accident. What do you mean an accident?" Charles inquired.
"Who was involved and what
happened?"
"Some of the students from nearby
colleges were protesting. And they went in the drugstore to be
served. When they came out people were pushing and
shoving and a gun accidentally went off."
The officer responded.
"Where is my son? Is he dead? I
mean what happened?” Steven asked.
“No, sir he is not dead. He is at the
hospital. One student was killed but it was not your son," another officer
responded.
"Do his parents know? “ Charles was very sad.
“ Not yet. We haven't notified them yet."
The officer responded.
"We need to ask your son a few more
questions and then you can take him home." The officers led them to a waiting area.
The Family
Nathaniel was eager to return to the
university. He had remained in Massachusetts with his grandmother because he
did not want her to worry about him. She was the only person that Nathaniel
really felt close to. His parents were too involved in their own lives to
really notice or care about his problems. Steven had spent most of his life
complaining about his lack of suitable employment. He had desired to attend law
school but after Cindy became pregnant in their junior year in college, he had abandoned
that dream. He worked in an insurance agency in Boston. He had provided his family with the
necessities of life. But he had wanted more. And whenever he was reminded of
his dream to become a lawyer, there was an argument. Cindy was also frustrated because she had
desired to work as a researcher in a science lab. She
had not worked , until she left her husband and son and moved to New York. She
finally earned her college degree, but she did not find the job she desired. When she returned to Boston and her family, it
was too late. Her marriage was ruined by then. Why hadn’t his parents divorced? Nathaniel did not know. They argued
constantly. And Julienne ( Steven’s sister
)had accused Steven of having an affair at a family gathering. Still
the couple remained married. Perhaps, it was the social clubs, friends or just
a sense of habit. Nathaniel had
overheard his mother say she was old and no one else would want her. Because of the tension in his home, Nathaniel
and Lil were very close. Lil was more of
a mother to Nathaniel than Cindy. He
knew Lil was getting older but what would he do without her.
When his mother went to New York, Lil
had moved in with his father and raised him. She had remained in Steven’s home after Cindy
returned. Cindy had found a job at a research lab when she
returned to Boston. However, the family was under a tremendous financial strain. Steven, had been laid off of
his job for many months. They had a
mortgage, a car and a son in college. Nathaniel had older siblings. He felt that when he finished college, his
parents would divorce. Things really did not look good for their
relationship.
Nathaniel was studying to enter law
school. He spent most of his days and nights preparing for law school. He did
not have much time to socialize. As he walked into the campus library he went
to the study room and prepared for a long night of study. His father had begged
him not to return to Florida. Steven wanted Nathaniel to transfer to a campus
in Boston. Nathaniel just wanted to put the civil rights riot behind him and attend law school next
year. His father wanted to have charges pressed against the officer who shot
his friend. He wanted the incident
investigated by the NAACP and he wanted his son to return to Boston. Cindy
agreed with her son. There was only four weeks left for the school year. It was not practical for Nathaniel to
transfer schools. Cindy was worried
about Nathaniel’s safety also. But
Nathaniel had promised to be careful and not to attend any more protests . They would have to trust Nathaniel. His entrance exam was this weekend and his
future seemed pretty clear. He would be attending law school. His girl
friend was planning to become a nurse . The couple planned to marry this summer. Vicki’s
(Nathaniel’s girlfriends) would support the family with her nurse’s salary.
His parents were not aware of his marriage plans. Nathaniel had not told his father because
Steven overreacted to everything. Cindy
would be fine but Steven could not
handle any type of changes in his youngest child’s life.
Steven had been a dreamer in his youth before life made him
bitter. His family did not understand
him. He had dreamed of being an
attorney who would win civil rights cases for the NAACP. He had wanted to fight
the injustices and inequities that blacks were struggling to overcome. He felt that the responsibility and leadership
for these efforts would have to be
undertaken by the churches, the
teachers, the families and neighborhoods.
In his opinion, these resources
would need to organize blacks to mobilize and he had intended to be a leader in this movement as an attorney. Once he left
college and began attempting to support his young family, he lost his dreams
and his way. He became bitter and he resented his young wife and the children.
He hated his boss and he did not like the agency. He had been a handsome young man with an outgoing
personality. Through the years he acquired
many clients and much success with the
company. However, he saw the
neighborhood deteriorating. Drugs and crime were infiltrating the neighborhood.
Instead of using their profits to reinvest in the neighborhood, the company was
looking for new offices in the suburbs.
This meant taking jobs from the community and turning their backs on their
loyal customers. Even worse, Steven had talked with Cindy about starting his
own company. She had not been very
supportive because she had recently been accepted at a university in New York. She was leaving for New York as soon as
possible to finally complete her college studies.
Finally, Steven talked with his mother,Lil. “Ma what should I do.”
“Son, family is the most important thing
in life.” Lil had told him.
“Yes, I know Mom . Cindy has not supported my dreams. I could not
attend law school because of the babies and her dependence on me. Now, she has saved enough money
to go to school. She said her father loaned her the money. Why didn’t they
loan me the money to go to law
school. She is selfish. Everything is about her.” Steven
tried to reason with Lil.
“Steven, Cindy is not only your wife and
your children’s mother, she is a woman. She still has her own dreams. She is very
smart. Try to understand her. You have to think about her and not just
yourself.” Lil said with great logic.
Lil had never attended school. She could
not read. She knew her letters and she had memorized bible verses. But she had
lots of common sense and wisdom. Lil continued,
“Don’t lose your wife, Steven. Love her and forgive her. She has been
through as much as you. Her family would
not speak to her for years after she became pregnant. They would not even visit Nat for the longest.
Try to understand. She was hurt.
She is still hurt. Don’t make it worse. Support her in her studies. She needs you now.”
While
Cindy was in New York, Lil moved into their home. Lil remembered when she moved
into a home with Buck.
Buc k had asked Lil to marry him when she was sixteen. He had walked ten
miles down a dirt dusty road to her families cabin and asked her father for permission to marry
her. Lil’s dad was not certain. He
wanted Lil to marry a man with a trade.
Lil , however was certain. She
wanted to move out of the cabin with her nine sisters and brothers. Finally,
Lil’s father agreed to the marriage.
And that was it. With her parents blessing
they were married and moved into a cabin at the end of town. One day Buck
announced that he wanted to move to town to learn a trade or something. Lil
said that’s great because I’m going to have a baby.
Alexandria, who everyone called Mae
was born. She was a beautiful baby and Lil adored her. On a beautiful day with
lots of sun and a cool breeze, Buck
walked into town to buy some things for Lil and the baby. He felt as if someone was staring at him
really hard. He felt a rush of adrenalin
that you sometimes feel before something tragic happens. As he walked down the street, a man pushed into him. There
was a group of about five men standing around him. All of them were white. Buck kept his eyes downcast and he never
looked at them.
“Boy, what are you looking at.” One man asked.
“Nothing, sir. I’m just walking home to my wife and baby.”
Buck spoke softly.
“You are turned the wrong way, ain’t
you?” Another man struck him.
“No, I go this way every day. Yes sir I do.
Please don’t hurt me. I have a
wife and baby.”Buck pleaded.
“Well, boy why don’t you go another
way. Stay out of this area. !”
Buck felt another punch and another then
after an hour or so he blacked out.
Night turned to day. And Lil
became worried. She did not want to take
the baby out in the middle of the night.
But something had to be wrong.
Where was Buck? Their nearest
neighbors were a fifteen minute walk.
Lil cried herself to sleep. She
cried all night when she realized that Buck would not come home.
The next day Buck was not there. Lil was afraid to open her eyes. She went to her neighbor. “Sam, Buck did not come home last night.” Lil
explained.
“ Why?
Where could he be?”Sam asked.
“I don’t know. He went to pick up some
things for the baby, a little gown and some fabric for me. My clothes don’t fit right since I had her.”
Lil continued.
“Okay.
I will go into town and see what is wrong?”
Later, that evening Sam came to the
house. But he bought his wife Emily and
Pastor Johnson.
“Pastor, why are you here. I didn’t even clean up. What a surprise.” Lil was startled.
“I’m so sorry,Lil . We have been having some accidents in this
area.” Pastor Johnson continued.
“Accidents? Please tell me what is going on.” Lil was almost screaming now.
“The Klan has been attacking people. We have had about ten deaths in this county
in the past three months. I’m so sorry.” Pastor
Johnson said in his most comforting voice.
Lil heard herself scream but she
couldn’t feel anything. The rest was a
dream. She did not really remember
it. Sam and Emily took her to their home. She stayed with them for several months. Finally, when Sam felt it was safe, she and
the baby went to their home. He gave
them a rifle and a dog. Each night one
of Sam’s male relatives or friends would sit up at her home and keep
watch. After a year of this Lil said, “I
know how to shoot. I will be fine. Never mind about coming here anymore.”
Alexandria (Mae as she was known) grew to be a beautiful girl and she was
smart. She could read words and
count. The community was trying to start
a Negro school to help the children but they needed materials for the school
. Lil took this project under her
arms. She sold her produce to raise
money. Finally a building was erected. They just needed a teacher. Sam said he would find a teacher. After a few months, Sam hired a
teacher. Alexandria was an excellent
student and hoped that one day she could
become a teacher.
One day a gentleman came to call on
Lil. It had been sometime since Buck had
passed. Lil had grieved and grieved
until she couldn’t anymore. No one was
charged with Buck’s murder. It was a
hate crime. And who knows why people
hate. For some people it seemed to be
like breathing. But some people hated others because of their race and for no other
reason. So Lil had prayed and accepted
the Lord’s will. It was hard to let go
of Buck. Especially, the way he was
killed and all. But she did.
“Ma, how can you go out with a man?” Mae asked.
“Mae, (Mae was her nickname for
Alexandria), your Daddy is gone. The
lord took him. We have to go on. It’s been a long time. We will always love him and never forget
him.”
“I know I will never forget Daddy. But it seems like you will.” Mae did not understand.
“No, Mae a woman my age has to marry if
someone wants her. Mr. Paul likes
me. We will probably marry but it does
not mean that I do not love your daddy.
And I always will. “ Lil added.
“Why did the Klan kill daddy?” Mae asked.
“Some people hate people because of their
color. We are black and some people hate
us. They think we are dumb, no good, and
steal and kill. So we have to protect
ourselves. Remembe,r I told you never to
go into town alone. Do not talk to
strangers. Don’t go wandering around
town and get lost. The Klan is
everywhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if
the sheriff wasn’t a member. We do not
have justice. Don’t forget it.”
About a month later Lil and Mr. Paul
married. They had three more children
and Mr. Paul raised Mae as his own child.
They were happy. One day Mr.
Smith ( Mae’s teacher) came to visit Lil and Paul. Everyone called Lil, Ma Lil because of all the
work she did at the church and at the school.
“Ma Lil we need some money to send Mae to
college,” Mr. Smith explained.
“Why so far away? Why can’t you teach her here?” Lil asked.
“Well, the older kids need to learn trades
for a job. I teach reading and counting
but not trades. Also, Mae is smart. Really smart.
She can attend a Negro college and teach one day.”
“I don’t know if we can afford
college. How much do we need?” Paul asked.
“Don’t worry, we can get her a scholarship
or some funds. I am sure that she will
do well.” Mr. Smith explained.
“Well, I will work on raising some money.” Lil volunteered
“Thanks.
I knew I could count on you.” Mr. Smith was relieved.
